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Maid of Honor Speech
Two lovers in love walked down the aisle, down the aisle, down the aisle
Two lovers in love walked down the aisle, down the aisle, down the aisle
Guess who’s here, to get wed
Cole and Blake, clap your hands
Cole and Blake,
Cole and Blake,
Cole and Blake,
Cole and Blake…
[Verse 1]
I’ve created a monster, ’cause she doesn’t want to
See “Gabs” no more, she wants “Carroll,” we’re chopped liver
Well if you want Carroll, this is what I’ll give ya
A big party, but you can’t drink hard liquor
Back in time, it all started online
Blake said he was fine, but his friends knew he was lying
Big Spoon wasn’t operatin’
He couldn’t find a Match with a high-wife rating
He waited so long, then set up with Megan,
She was whack, Nicole’s feedback said we should be datin’
They found love, I saw it escalatin’, a marriage in the works they were speculatin’
So they met Cece down by the sea, and at the Montage he got down on one knee
He said, “Without you, I just can’t be. So won’t you be my Mrs. C?”
Put on this ring, pick out a dress,
Call up your girls, and make the guest list
We’ve gone steady, but now I know that we’re ready
Wanna be with you forever,
LET’S GET MARRIED!
[Chorus 2x]
Now this looks like it’s meant to be, so everybody just toast with me
Raise your glasses if you’re thirsty
‘Cause tonight we’re here to P-PAR-TEE
[Verse 2]
A little hellion, but I wasn’t rebellious
Sorry I was always so reckless
I just wanted to be like my big sis,
But when I was wrong, she told and I yelled “SNITCH!”
We were matchin’, matchin’ in fashion
Even Barb was in on the action, that’s fact
So let’s just revel and bask, in the fact that everyone was likin’ our class
It was laughable, I thought it was fine,
But you had enough when you turned nine
Well it’s back
Every Christmas we’re in our jama jama jama’s
Enter’s Blake, and, he REALLY seemed to linger
New center of attention, moved in for the winter!
He was guesting, investing in nesting
Knew Nicole was it, didn’t need no testing
Excuse me, attention please?
Apprehension, but knew that they were meant to be
Got their townhouse, down by the sea
But they wouldn’t have me as their third roomie
[Chorus 2x]
Now this looks like it’s meant to be, so everybody just toast with me
Raise your glasses if you’re thirsty
‘Cause tonight we’re here to P-PAR-TEE
(second time) (It’s the wedding of the century!)
[Verse 3]
Through thin and thick they ain’t gonna quit
Everybody’s talking about this great fit
Blake, he don’t wanna get his butt kicked
Toilet seat’s down and he does the dishes
Guarantee you’ll grow the family tree
Some pretty cute babies, we can all agree
You know Nicole, wants thirty or more
Too much to pay for
So Blake said four
Let’s go, just give me some nieces,
A nephew so Barb doesn’t fall to pieces
I’ll be there, day or night, rain or shine
I’m gonna treat your kids like they were mine
But sometimes it may just seem
Matrimony ain’t what you thought it’d be
But this just means that you’re growing
Fights are part of the routine
Though I’m not the first to congratulate ya
I have the best toast since Bob, the father
I want you both to know I love ya
And without warning I’ll pop on over
Here’s a true love that works
You found someone who knows your worth
You’ll change your last name, but I won’t cry, cause I love you bigger than the sky
[Chorus 2x]
Now this looks like it’s meant to be, so everybody please toast with me
Raise your glasses if you’re thirsty
‘Cause tonight we’re here to P-PAR-TEE
(second time) (It’s the wedding of the century!)
Maid of Honor. Out
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